NaOnka: I was a ray of sunshine on ‘Survivor’

Nobody likes a quitter.

And if you hoped to muster some sympathy for “Survivor: Nicaragua’s” dropout duo, you’ve come to the wrong exit interview.

Instead of apologizing for jumping ship, these loathsome losers made excuses, insisted they deserve spots on the jury and insulted their fellow competitors and you fans…

Q&A With NaOnka Mixon and “Purple” Kelly Shinn:

How do you respond to those who call your quitting a slap in the face to ‘Survivor’? “Purple” Kelly Shinn: I’m sorry to everyone who thinks that, but at the same time I was so physically ill—afterwards, I was treated for parasites and low blood pressure. [Editor’s note: Aw, poor baby.]

NaOnka Mixon: I played the game exactly the way I said I would at the beginning: I would lie, cheat and steal, I would be faker than faux fur, I would pretend to be your friend and stab you in the back. I lived up to that.

But you also told me when I was in Nicaragua, “I’m going to be that rainbow, that ray of sunshine that keeps that energy level up and very positive and upbeat and helpful.”
N: I was definitely a ray of sunshine—they didn’t show all the laughing and joking and stupid crazy s–t. They make me look like I’m so bitter, [like] I’m this angry black woman and I hate life, and it was nothing like that.

Does Fabio think you’re a ray of sunshine?
N: Fabio can think whatever the hell he wants to think. I still have his damn socks. I still love him though.

NaOnka, do you have any regrets about your behavior on the show?
N: Nooooo! I will not apologize for stealing the food or talking about Kelly B.’s leg, or taking Fabio’s socks, or any other crazy antic I did. That was just my character on the show. If you’re playing a game for a million dollars you’re gonna do whatever it takes, too. It’s just that I [had to] go and be a little gangster about it.

Do you think you were justified going on the reward instead of Holly, when you were quitting the game?
N: There was no way in the world that I was giving up my spot. [I was] going out with a bang. If Holly wants to go ahead and take the rice, cool. You’re going to be here, I’m not.

Do you think you deserve to sit on the jury?
N: Hell yeah. I played the hell out of that game and made it past the merge. The game we played was a hard game—it was just under harsh conditions. I really don’t give a damn about what anybody has to say about me and Purple Kelly being on the jury. Obviously [the earlier castoffs’] game wasn’t strong enough, because they didn’t form an alliance or they should’ve researched the game a bit more to make it further. We get to vote for who gets the million, so f— ’em.

PK: We went through everything that everyone else had gone through: the rainy nights, absolutely every little thing together. We weren’t away from that at any point. Why separate us when we have been just as much a part of “Survivor: Nicaragua” as everyone else? As far as others who have never been a part of “Survivor” but would love to…keep trying? [Editor’s note: Headdesk.]

What was your reaction to Alina crying while you checked out?
N: Alina is a drama queen! She was upset because Purple Kelly outlasted her, and that’s what she gets—she got played!

What were Alina, Marty and Brenda’s reactions when you reunited with them at Ponderosa?
PK: Alina wasn’t even there—she wouldn’t speak with either one of us. But Marty and Brenda were welcoming—I’m not gonna say they were happy, but they were willing to listen to us, and that meant a lot. It baffled me how upset Alina was, but you know Alina loves the game of “Survivor”—I think all of us really love it. [Editor’s note: Yep, she really said that.]

NaOnka, did you realize you were offending Sash at Tribal when you said you were the last African American player in the game?
N: Does he look all black? He has a little bit of black in him. When the camera panned to him, I started cracking up because I thought that was hilarious. Sash has part Jamaican in him. I am Negro, there is a difference.

And yet he was in your Minority Alliance…
N: You have part black in you, OK we can align, but that don’t make you Negro. I’m [aligning] with you because it is going to take me further in the game.

NaOnka, did you experience any repercussions when you returned home? I heard there was a movement to get you fired from your job.
N: The YMCA does not fire people. What I did in this game has nothing to do with my real life, it has nothing to do with my job. People who try to compare how I make my money with the game I played are ignorant. It’s completely ridiculous. I knew when I was playing that game what I was gonna have to deal with, and I knew it was gonna be on TV.

So what do you take away from this experience?
PK: I’m taking away one of the greatest experiences—and I mean greatest because it was so large, not necessarily because it was always the best. Just finding out what kind of person I am, what I can go through. [Editor’s note: Mostly not go through…]

N: Being able to go through this journey, and this journey being documented, and I watch it and I reflect on my behavior—it’s humbled me. [Editor’s note: !!!] It’s been a humbling experience. It doesn’t sound like it, but I’ve calmed down a whole lot, because I know underneath there is a consequence of the things I do.

N: “Survivor” has really changed my life in a positive aspect. I am so grateful and so blessed to have been cast by Lynne [Spillman] and to have talked to Jeff Probst and met Mark Burnett. At a brief moment in the game when I quit I felt like I would be letting them down, but I feel like I gave them gold.

What do you think? Was NaOnka TV gold, or did she and Purple Kelly tarnish Survivor?